It’s been my goal as a parent to be open minded to my child’s development into a human being, and I feel like it is not my place to interfere with whatever urges his hormones dictate. I also understand that masturbation is normal, and healthy, and nothing to “freak out” about, under normal circumstances. But I suspect that my son, 14, is masturbating upwards of twelve times per day. Locking the bathroom for long periods of time, internet pornography, etc; and this is disgusting to say but I find his “used” Kleenexes lying around sometimes. . . How do I approach my son about this, and, could it be problematic?
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5 responses so far ↓
1 Julia // Dec 2, 2008 at 5:21 am
ok that is very obsessive i would tell him that the porn is wrong and i would put a parent lock on all of the computers. i would leave the mastrubation alone though, if you tell him to stop he will get mad and do it more.
i really hope this helps JULIA
2 Josh R // Dec 2, 2008 at 5:21 am
Just tell him it is completely normal but kindly ask him to throw the tissues away after he is finished and he should understand. Good luck!
- Josh Rumbolt
3 Nickel // Dec 2, 2008 at 5:21 am
Okay, don’t put a parent lock on his computer… that will make him hate you. Just approach him calmly and tell him that he needs to pick up his used tissues. You don’t have to say that you know what’s IN the tissues, just tell him to pick them up. That’s what I would want my mom to do anyways, and I’m 13.
4 gummi_bear122887 // Dec 2, 2008 at 5:21 am
Well, just from talking to the guys in my life, he sounds like he masturbates more than the average guy. However, you can’t dictate what is average and although it is bothering you (and I can’t imagine what it’s like..being your son) you can’t make him stop. It just isn’t something you have control over. But, you do have control over the computer/t.v that he is using for porn. Parent locks are wonderful. And you can approach him about it. Just be honest. Tell him what you told us. Masturbation is normal, you understand and respect him, but he needs to respect you also by disposing of the tissues an doing it in his room where it isn’t as advertised. Most likely if you do say something he will make changes just to avoid talking to you about it again. It wouldn’t hurt to tell him that you are aware of his porn habit and what you are going to do to prevent it. Tell him if he wants to look at it, that’s his business, but that you don’t want that in your home. Good luck!
5 robert y // Dec 2, 2008 at 5:21 am
Please don’t tell me you are one of those permissive parents that let their kids do whatever they want as long as it doesn’t interfere with your own life? Does your son freak out if you should tell him ‘NO” about something? Some kids have no idea what that word even means growing up & when they get out in the real world, they can’t handle it when someone tells them ‘NO!’ Put a lock on all the computers he has access to & block out all porn activity on the net. Explain to him you understand his natural male urges but he must be clean about it & get rid of any evidence - that you are NOT going to clean up after him. Tell him it is unhealthy to masturbate that many times per day - to cut down on it quite a bit. He still has about 7 more years left of puberty. Right this minute, his hormones are raging from one end of the spectrum to the other, trying to figure out where to settle down & it can be very unsettling at times. As time goes by - he will adjust.
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