I was sexually active for over 3 years with the same guy, and penetrative sex was almost always painful. We broke up over a year ago, and I haven’t been with anyone else.
Here’s the thing… only in recent months have I become comfortable with pleasuring myself, and finally the other day I bought a vibrator. I have to hold it on my clitoris with a LOT of pressure (enough to be really sore around my pubic bone, etc) for quite some time before any real stuff happens.
I read the physical signs for orgasm, and it sounds like I had one but mentally I didn’t feel any different. Only a fair amount of physical pleasure. Was it a real orgasm? Because what I’ve read says that orgasm is more mental than physical, and that some people can have the mental orgasm without physical stimulation. But nowhere have I seen that one could have only a physical orgasm with no mental orgasm!!!
Can anyone explain this to me a bit more?
~Thanks~
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4 responses so far ↓
1 logical1 // Aug 12, 2008 at 8:20 am
For the future, use a lube that is safe with condoms, this will help alot with sex. For playing with vibrators on your own, you may want to try humping something to see if you like how that feels for starters. Then add in the vibrator. Orgasm is a combination of physical and mental. It’ll feel good when doing it solo….but then you’ll soon be back to whatever you were doing before, so mostly physical.
2 Jenn // Aug 12, 2008 at 8:20 am
Actually with us women, the lighter the touch, the better the orgasm! Instead of trying to rush it, and get to the finish line faster, next time use some lube, take your time with some light touches with the vibe. Experiment: move it around in circles, up and down, inside your vagina. Figure out what YOU like and enjoy the journey to orgasm, and not just the grand prize! It make take a while, but trust me, you will KNOW when you have one!
3 skip22ha // Aug 12, 2008 at 8:20 am
You really have an emotional orgasm with a person you love and trust
A physical orgasm can come from hands, fingers, toys and strangers
A positive step towards knowing yourself is being able to orgasm through masterbation
Knowing someone else comes with time and with that comes a mental orgasm of love and security
If you want to discuss this further email me and we can talk about it further
4 Miina // Aug 12, 2008 at 8:20 am
orgasm is personal experience i don think there is a certain way to make someone reach an org..cause whaat works 4 me won’t work 4 u so try strokin urself n c wat drives u mad physically n emotionally then u wil know my dear…..
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